Media personality Willis Raburu has opened up about a heartbreaking moment in his life when he considered ending it all while struggling with the pain of losing a child.
During a candid interview with a local YouTuber, the dynamic journalist reflected on his tragic experience. He shared how deeply involved he was in the pregnancy and the hopes and dreams he had for his daughter.
Willis recounted the devastating moment when doctors informed him and his partner that their daughter had no heartbeat. He described it as one of the darkest moments in his life, a pain beyond comparison.
“The lowest point in my life was finding out that my baby girl wouldn’t survive. When my daughter passed away, I experienced a pain that no words can describe. It was a very dark time for me. I even got a tattoo to remember her. It was December 31st—people were eagerly awaiting the New Year, but for me, we were at the hospital. Everything seemed okay at first, but then the doctors said there was no heartbeat. We went through the labor process, and when she arrived, I held her in my arms, calling her name, but there was no response—no cry, nothing,” he recalled.
Raburu further shared how he clung to the hope that his daughter might still be alive as he held her. A strong Christian, he revealed that this experience caused him to question his faith and temporarily distance himself from God.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so helpless and alone. Even though I was surrounded by doctors, it felt like I was completely alone. After everything, I remember going back to the hospital to retrieve the baby bag we had packed. I just sat on a bench and looked up, asking God, ‘You win. I don’t believe you exist.’ I had been raised as a Christian, praying every day for this baby. When things didn’t go as I had hoped, I thought, ‘God doesn’t exist.’ For a while, I took pleasure in my pain and distanced myself from God,” Willis explained.
The former TV host also opened up about how his grief led him to a point where he almost took his own life.
“Grief can uncover underlying issues that need to be addressed, and therapy helped me with that. But there were moments when I wanted to end my life. I kept thinking about my daughter, imagining that the only way to see her again was to join her. It got so bad that my therapist had to contact my workplace. That’s when people started checking up on me,” Willis shared.
His daughter, Adana, was pronounced dead at birth on December 31, 2019.
Willis also reflected on how the loss of his daughter strained his marriage, ultimately leading to divorce.
“After the loss, the divorce followed, bringing even more challenges. Grieving with someone who understands you is difficult. For me, grief made me retreat, and it was hard to express my emotions,” he admitted.
In 2020, just months after the heartbreaking loss of their first child together, Willis and Marya separated.
